almost

Panicked all weekend. Overstressing myself causing unnecessary back and arm pain... Friday: tried to keep myself calm at home. Wasn't able to practice any driving. Cried my heart out about Scrapped Princess ep 18. Saturday came around, woke up bright and early, hoping to catch my brother before he left for a little drive. Ended up, rolling around in bed some more instead. Got up a bit after he left and waited for his return. He came back and said he'd drive a bit later, leaving again. Tried to calm myself some more by occupying myself. I realized my Harry Potter book was due the next day and I haven't really started (around 1/6th?) so I took the time to read the whole book that day. Drove a bit that night, making aimless big street left turns. Ended the day about 3/4 or so into the book. Woke up early the next day for a driving lesson (0930 ;_;) with the instructor. Felt frustrated after the lesson. I asked if I can really do it before the lesson ended and he just smirked without answering me. Ugh, that left me even more discouraged than ever. Got back home and had let it all out (w/ tears of course)... got back to cramming up the last bit of the brick-sized HP book, trying to keep the pessimism away. My mom returned from church and noticed my distress and miraculously relieved me with her words as we drove down to Richmond to have lunch and return HP. Returned home, still feeling the anxiety and nervousness. Soon enough the whole family was telling me it was no big deal... and really it WAS no big deal. But I just couldn't shake off that feeling anyways.... drove some more, felt frustrated and tired after what it seemed like forever, practicing parking and backing up in an empty parking lot. Finally gave up for the night and just expected the worse of it. Tossed around in bed uncomfortably, waking up only once that night and sat up abruptly at 6am. The instructor got here at 7:10 and we zoomed down to Richmond. The practice/warm-up felt like eternity but we finally arrived at 8:30 at the testing location. Saw my mom, she was lining up for the building to open for some of her own license adjustments, my instructor probably thought my mom was crazy waiting for me for my test and lining up for no reason. I noticed a somewhat chubby woman that I accidentally met eyes with that morning at my warm-up, wandering around with a test paper. I mumbled and hope I wouldn't get her as my marker and I was WRONG. I end up getting her anyways. She looked at me and asked if we've met before. I shrugged and said no, knowing she must have remembered me from earlier that morning. We got to the car... did whatever and such and such. She realized I was nervous when I kept apologizing and freaking out unnecessarily at the beginning. After a bit, the tension weared off eventually and just drove the usual. I think my hazard perception was done stupidly.. "Uhh, pedestrians... uhh, there might be a truck that might block vision (btw it didn't exist there at all)... bikers (though there weren't any)..." :D So sad.. :p She didn't seem to mind though (no marks taken off for that, phew)... Luckily, I was told to park where there were no cars present at the time. I once again panicked unnecessarily at the very end when she told me to park in, head first. I immediately thought OMFG I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE EVER. I sent worried looks everywhere and I parked in. The parking spot was so amazing wide, I couldn't see one the parking border on the passenger's side and I panicked some more. She noticed and sorta laughed and told me not to worry. I was confused and too worried like sick but she told me to finally park and turn off the engine. At that point on, since I still couldn't see the line at all, I thought I was stepping on it and she just let it go. She discussed various points and yadda... my only point deducted was speeding through a yellow light which I had no idea why I did. I swore I was going down the road staring at the red hand stop flashing and I just kept going. Doofus, tis I. Besides that she said I did well and so forth. We talked for quite a while and at the end I was so lost in her words I missed her say "you passed" and it sorta just blew past me. She kept talking after she said that and then it finally clicked. My reaction was too late so I couldn't exactly scream YAY or squirm or anything so I kept a straight happy face. She smiled and said congratulations and I happily accepted and thanked her. When we got off she chuckled and told me I shoulda parked a bit deeper. I sorta turned around and laughed at my own mistake... As I walked by back into the building I heard my instructor (who was standing outside, smoking with the rest of his driver-teacher-buddies) say (rather loudly), "Well, let me go see how badly she did..." and followed me. Ugh, what a dick. He quickly swiped the car key away from me and asked looked around dazily, wondering where I was going. Yeah you dick, I'm going to go pay and get my friggin picture taken! Afterwards, he blabbed some more as he spoke in that arrogant tone and with his most annoying facial appearance. I think he's a little cross-eyed or something... I don't feel that anything changed after that test though... the test didn't feel like a test after all that... Yes I feel no different now... no car anyways.. at least.. not yet.





Wasted time relaxing at home and had to do something enjoyable so I HTMLed and finished up Stardust's new layout. What a nice feeling that was... :p





Oh yes, HP was quite interesting. (no spoilers :D) Harry whines and complains too much... it gets sorta annoying. Not to mention HP's getting more gruesome. Yes I can't believe what happened near the end.. ITS AS SAD AS SCRAPPED PRINCESS 18! But when Luna mentioned about hearing 'em voices.. hmm, meaning Harry'll be able to as well from behind the veil? And then.. and then?? (REUNITED??!) fiewofjwoi... no idea. Requires too much thinking... Rather just wait for the next one, psh.





Tried out a Korean restaurant by the Cambie bridge today (semi-celebration? :D). Quite expensive... and the food wasn't ALL THAT great. A waitress spoke Chinese to us.. o_O Sorta strange... No crazy combos or meal sets in their menu, which made things difficult. They had an all you can eat bar... it didn't look impressive so we didn't try that. We had left overs of some onion pancake crap crap thing... simliar to that Japanese dish I made in the past with onions and eggs and such..... I didn't get a chance to try the Korean one.. I was too stuffed~ It was stuffy in there, that's for sure.





Orientation tomorrow morning. Better sleep.

Should I even bother trying to catch up...? So much to talk about if I do... *eyes shift around*





Playland was whee. Wasted too much in time in the arcades, we didn't get to ride the Hellevator (sp?) and the Log Ride.. kuyashii~ We refilled Marcus' hellevator cup 10+ times (5+ people drinking from it), I got sick after riding the flying swings, and we rode Hell's gate 5+ times. Boom screamed unnecessarily at anywhere and anytime just to stir up everyone. We had Timbits for Night Snack and ordered everyone a cup of water. Mmm... That sums it up.





Played Xenosaga at Fish's house (damn brother no let me play with his annoying attitude: "You don't get to play until I finish it"-- my ass. He's never going to get to that game...) Allen's funny :D, voices are a tad strange (Chaos bothers me the most)... I've yet to hear Jr.'s... mmm sexy gun boi... The game was technically not his so the cd was in a bad shape. It froze my game a few times, forcing me to restart until I realize the cd was covered in stuff that seemed like snot or something disgustingly related. The FMVs (sorta FMVS ~_~) long as ever and pauses between changing screens were long too. No wonder the back of the box said it had over 80 hours of gameplay, 60 of those hours are dedicated to story or something :D. I hope they get the japanese voice option in episode II... though I'm doubting it. At least turn of subtitles or something...





Did you know my driving test is this coming Monday?... I've got no car on the weekend to practice with? I'm royally fucked?!? My mom's spazzing like crazy (still is now), making my life even more miserable than it already is... throwing in whatever else she needs to spazz about too (school, life... everything). Dammit... I've got two problems: Changing lanes and maybe parking. The instructor claims I don't wait for a big enough spot to change lanes (thus being a dangerous action), and I'm hitting the fuking curb lately (I didn't before D:)... AND I actually HIT the damn curb when I was turning today (therefore, if it was the actual test I bloody failed! Woohoo!) first in my fucking life! Something's wrong WITH ME... At least I'm not speeding anymore. :p Dammit I CAN'T DO IT... I HAD CONFIDENCE UNTIL MY MOM JUST SCREWED IT OVER BY BASHING ME REPEATEDLY (of course verbally).





Alright I seriously need something to get this off my mind... stressing SHIT OF RIWOIFEJWOIFJIOWJWEKFWKWELJFJFUK... don't think anything will.. NOT WHEN YOU'RE REMINDED REPEATEDLY EVERYDAY AND ANYTIME POSSIBLE... *punches something*

Stressed like FRICK.

Me--Happy New Year!

Happy happy happy happy new year. 2003. Oh yes.Feel like another bloody day though. That's all.

Oh yeah, I accidentally reported the wrong trouble ticket for the server. Hee, I'm stupid. I chose the "Restoration" and then there was chaos for a little bit. Panic and so forth. Then voila the FishFruit comes online and asks bout it and panics with me. Tries to cancel it. Dunno what happens. Meanwhile the server was still down, so I brought it back up again. However the other ticket's still there. Wait wait. The Fruit returns. I suggest tech support. Tech support called. Problem fixed. But that was in a span of 5 stressing hours. -_-