Tango Appassionata

Panicked all weekend. Overstressing myself causing unnecessary back and arm pain... Friday: tried to keep myself calm at home. Wasn't able to practice any driving. Cried my heart out about Scrapped Princess ep 18. Saturday came around, woke up bright and early, hoping to catch my brother before he left for a little drive. Ended up, rolling around in bed some more instead. Got up a bit after he left and waited for his return. He came back and said he'd drive a bit later, leaving again. Tried to calm myself some more by occupying myself. I realized my Harry Potter book was due the next day and I haven't really started (around 1/6th?) so I took the time to read the whole book that day. Drove a bit that night, making aimless big street left turns. Ended the day about 3/4 or so into the book. Woke up early the next day for a driving lesson (0930 ;_;) with the instructor. Felt frustrated after the lesson. I asked if I can really do it before the lesson ended and he just smirked without answering me. Ugh, that left me even more discouraged than ever. Got back home and had let it all out (w/ tears of course)... got back to cramming up the last bit of the brick-sized HP book, trying to keep the pessimism away. My mom returned from church and noticed my distress and miraculously relieved me with her words as we drove down to Richmond to have lunch and return HP. Returned home, still feeling the anxiety and nervousness. Soon enough the whole family was telling me it was no big deal... and really it WAS no big deal. But I just couldn't shake off that feeling anyways.... drove some more, felt frustrated and tired after what it seemed like forever, practicing parking and backing up in an empty parking lot. Finally gave up for the night and just expected the worse of it. Tossed around in bed uncomfortably, waking up only once that night and sat up abruptly at 6am. The instructor got here at 7:10 and we zoomed down to Richmond. The practice/warm-up felt like eternity but we finally arrived at 8:30 at the testing location. Saw my mom, she was lining up for the building to open for some of her own license adjustments, my instructor probably thought my mom was crazy waiting for me for my test and lining up for no reason. I noticed a somewhat chubby woman that I accidentally met eyes with that morning at my warm-up, wandering around with a test paper. I mumbled and hope I wouldn't get her as my marker and I was WRONG. I end up getting her anyways. She looked at me and asked if we've met before. I shrugged and said no, knowing she must have remembered me from earlier that morning. We got to the car... did whatever and such and such. She realized I was nervous when I kept apologizing and freaking out unnecessarily at the beginning. After a bit, the tension weared off eventually and just drove the usual. I think my hazard perception was done stupidly.. "Uhh, pedestrians... uhh, there might be a truck that might block vision (btw it didn't exist there at all)... bikers (though there weren't any)..." :D So sad.. :p She didn't seem to mind though (no marks taken off for that, phew)... Luckily, I was told to park where there were no cars present at the time. I once again panicked unnecessarily at the very end when she told me to park in, head first. I immediately thought OMFG I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE EVER. I sent worried looks everywhere and I parked in. The parking spot was so amazing wide, I couldn't see one the parking border on the passenger's side and I panicked some more. She noticed and sorta laughed and told me not to worry. I was confused and too worried like sick but she told me to finally park and turn off the engine. At that point on, since I still couldn't see the line at all, I thought I was stepping on it and she just let it go. She discussed various points and yadda... my only point deducted was speeding through a yellow light which I had no idea why I did. I swore I was going down the road staring at the red hand stop flashing and I just kept going. Doofus, tis I. Besides that she said I did well and so forth. We talked for quite a while and at the end I was so lost in her words I missed her say "you passed" and it sorta just blew past me. She kept talking after she said that and then it finally clicked. My reaction was too late so I couldn't exactly scream YAY or squirm or anything so I kept a straight happy face. She smiled and said congratulations and I happily accepted and thanked her. When we got off she chuckled and told me I shoulda parked a bit deeper. I sorta turned around and laughed at my own mistake... As I walked by back into the building I heard my instructor (who was standing outside, smoking with the rest of his driver-teacher-buddies) say (rather loudly), "Well, let me go see how badly she did..." and followed me. Ugh, what a dick. He quickly swiped the car key away from me and asked looked around dazily, wondering where I was going. Yeah you dick, I'm going to go pay and get my friggin picture taken! Afterwards, he blabbed some more as he spoke in that arrogant tone and with his most annoying facial appearance. I think he's a little cross-eyed or something... I don't feel that anything changed after that test though... the test didn't feel like a test after all that... Yes I feel no different now... no car anyways.. at least.. not yet.





Wasted time relaxing at home and had to do something enjoyable so I HTMLed and finished up Stardust's new layout. What a nice feeling that was... :p





Oh yes, HP was quite interesting. (no spoilers :D) Harry whines and complains too much... it gets sorta annoying. Not to mention HP's getting more gruesome. Yes I can't believe what happened near the end.. ITS AS SAD AS SCRAPPED PRINCESS 18! But when Luna mentioned about hearing 'em voices.. hmm, meaning Harry'll be able to as well from behind the veil? And then.. and then?? (REUNITED??!) fiewofjwoi... no idea. Requires too much thinking... Rather just wait for the next one, psh.





Tried out a Korean restaurant by the Cambie bridge today (semi-celebration? :D). Quite expensive... and the food wasn't ALL THAT great. A waitress spoke Chinese to us.. o_O Sorta strange... No crazy combos or meal sets in their menu, which made things difficult. They had an all you can eat bar... it didn't look impressive so we didn't try that. We had left overs of some onion pancake crap crap thing... simliar to that Japanese dish I made in the past with onions and eggs and such..... I didn't get a chance to try the Korean one.. I was too stuffed~ It was stuffy in there, that's for sure.





Orientation tomorrow morning. Better sleep.